It's not a lack of recognition, it's lack of Christianity and culture

When you don't have Christianity as your basis, you are likely unable to spot some truths even when you get so close.

The essential factor was my secret longing for the gift of recognition. But that’s not generally how the world works, especially for men. So why were my desires out of sync with reality?

It is not about introversion or extroversion, or poor self promotional skills.  It is that one has already fulfilled all his own personal needs selfishly.  It's what happens when you simply get lost in intellectual pursuits or in gratification of physical needs and you don't have a call to action.

In the end, he calls it a lack of gifted recognition.  I happen to think it's not a failure of recognition that will cause the wallflower way of life, but a failure to provide your children with a life of substance and meaning that is handed down through Christianity and culture.  One of the ways you can do this is by taking a vested interest in your children's education.